INCORRECT PROVERB: There is no 'I' in 'Team', but there are four in 'Platitude-Quoting Idiot'.

INCORRECT PROVERB: A picture is worth a thousand words, so really you should only be allowed to post less then 10% of that thrist trap picture in a tweet

INCORRECT PROVERB: Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, and pain is in the hand of the bee-holder.

INCORRECT PROVERB: Better late than never...unless you're talking about hemorrhoids.

INCORRECT PROVERB: Blood is thicker than water, but oil is thicker than blood. And oil equals money...MONEY OVER EVERYTHING! Capitalism wins again!

INCORRECT PROVERB: If at first you don't suck seed then you're not very good at blowjobs.

INCORRECT PROVERB OF THE DAY: Never judge a book by its cover, but always book a judge in the covers. Sleeping with a judge can get you out of many a legal issue.

Had a cold open on my twitch today. Thanks to those who showed up. Spent the rest of my evening fixing the glitches. Now it is ready to run proper. Hope to see you next time.

That's right! Remember, ups and downs in LIFE get you to the END FASTER!

#RenewTheOrville that is all...for now!

Look at how charitable my friend Nagzz is? Weird flex, but alright.

Meh.

Today was a rough day. The Eagles won the NFC Championship and all I can think is, 'I wish my dad was here to see this.' And then I went to change the outgoing message on his voicemail to let callers know, and I heard his voice is the original message. Couldnt change it.

My father died tonight.

I normally don't say things like this, but today the world lost a legend.

R.I.P. Kevin Conroy

CORRECTED PROVERB OF THE DAY: Two wrongs don't make a right, but 3 lefts do.

INCORRECT PROVERB OF THE DAY: Don't put all your eggs in one basket and don't count your chickens before they hatch. I am beginning to think the Poultry industry is run by idiots.