So wild that they're just not doing Eurovision this year, huh

If you squint this could be Paris

At this time of year, in this part of the country, localised entirely within my garden???

And the worm in my brain tells me that the documents I've been forging have lead to many deaths, but I know that's just silly

Anyway, some pretty big news today

Oh boy I can't wait to watch all of season 3 of classic who without having to read any plot summaries

I took my blind Mum to the polling station on Thursday, and she loudly asked 'which box for Adam Tranter?'. Everyone cheered loudly

Is it weird I think I'm sort of going to miss him? Like yes, the Tories must be exorcised from power in every corner but like. One of the last vestiges of an era when the Tories weren't hyper-aggressively nasty and at least pretending to be a bit moderate

If I'd waited 48 hours to post this I genuinely think it would've been more popular. West Midlands mayor has been TIGHT and both Andy Street and Richard Parker couldn't got it

I didn't vote for either Street or Parker, and while both campaigns have been lacking it's nice how profoundly sensible the two of them have been in tonight's handover

EXCLUSIVE: Sources say that both Candidates for West Midlands Mayor are nervous due to the popularity of a write in candidate, calling herself '108km President'.

'I've just come back from visiting my friend, who's in the hospital'

'Oh, are they ok?'

'No. They are in the hospital'

There is zero chance that, in an entire career of stage-managed & carefully-choreographed chucklefuckery, he actually forgot his photo ID. Even if it was done for no other reason than ‘Hey, it’s election time, remember me?’ it was done for a reason.

I can't quite explain the angle, but this feels like a stunt. It feels like it's deliberate, I just can't work out why

Took a 93 three year lady to the polling station, registered blind. In a very loud voice, she said, 'Which box for the masked ULEZ enforcers?' Everyone cheered.

My flex this morning is that I live so close to my polling station, I made a cup of tea before going, took it with me to vote, and I was still drinking it by the time I got back home

Why do they call it Street Vs Parker when you parker on the street of siobhan harper nunes parker the street?