I wish you could clean the dishwasher filter, by putting it in the dishwasher 🫧

Imagine if Elvis Presley has reincarnated into someone's dog and they think it's nothing but a hound dog 🐶

The thing you've seen the most of is the inside of your eyelids

Should laundry be called launwet when it comes out the washing machine?

I'm not normally an aggressive person, but I will have a fight with a clump of hangers in my wardrobe

How good is evaporation, it's a free tumble dryer and hair dryer #Showerthoughts

At what age do we stop saying 'spring summer autumn winter' in our heads when working out the order of the seasons

Who invented the tick symbol? ✅ Could it have been different, like a spiral or squiggle 〰️

How do people prounouce 'quay' as 'key' without missing a beat?

Are flies dumber this year? They are flying into windows a lot...

Alarms really aren't that alarming. *Hears neighbours alarm going off*
*Continues to eat cereal and deliberate red berry to flake ratio*

Grass is like Earth's hair, and collectively humanity shaves the stubble by mowing the lawn.

Why are chop sticks called chop sticks? They don't chop anything.

Guess who's back, back again.

The further away you can start waving at someone, the closer you probably are as mates. 🙋🏻‍♀️

Some people have more than one capital letter in their surname, like McDonald. I wonder if your surname could be all caps?

m8 = mate. m80 = matey.

Most people are 'head over heels' day to day. Being 'heels over head' is much more alarming.

I wonder what secret agents tell their car insurance providers they do.

If you had all the money in the world, would money even have any value?