I’ll beat New York Times Pitchbot to it:

South Dakota Governor Kristi Noem admits to killing one of her puppies because she felt that it wouldn’t make a good hunting dog. Here’s why that’s bad news for Joe Biden.

Christine. Croz. Jeff. Burt. Raquel. And today, Tina.

And yet, Biden and Trump not only live on, they’re gearing up for a bloody bleepin’ REMATCH next year!

God, I’m starting to think that you’ve run out of patience with us.

Can’t say that I blame you.