6'4' wearing a top hat in a theater. I'd shoot him too.

diner breakfast with the homie is one of the most sacred experiences you can have as a soulful white boy

my friend runs an instagram account called “kikos parking service” where he only takes pictures of his own car after finding a parking spot, and then comments on the picture from his personal account

This little girl is going to be the funniest person ever when she grows up

Hello everyone. I’m excited to share something with you next week. See you then.

Please trust reliable, small business owners

this morning I got a drink from 7/11, and the cashier said “you could get two more if you wanted”, and so I got two more because I thought she meant there was a promo. but there wasn’t a promo, I just paid full price for three of the same drink. why did she do this?

Ordered a cake from Costco and their system is from the 1800s, you write what you want on a piece of paper & put it in a box then nobody follows up and you just show up and hope they made it? I tried to call to confirm & they were like “if you put it in the box, it will be there”

you wanted LeBron, Dillon, you got em!

play.underdogfantasy.com/p-world-wide-w…

If you recognize this piece of pizza you’re probably annoying

long hair is only cool as long as it’s 100% dry, if it’s wet at all…you look like a sloppy fucking idiot

“sir, in case no one has told you yet today, you are valid”

steak and eggs has gotta be the most insane thing you can eat for breakfast

we aren’t gatekeeping mics enough because what the hell is this twitter.com/diamondmolar/s…

this just kept getting better and better