ALERT Air France flights diverted to avoid Iran airspace airlive.net/news/2024/04/1…

BREAKING
'Police to investigate Angela Rayner over residency declaration'

Rishi Sunak holding a USA residency Green Card - nothing to see here!

Vote Leave's Tory Matthew Elliott who broke electoral law now in House of Lords

SINISTER TORY HYPOCRISY theguardian.com/politics/2024/…

'Every morning, regular as clockwork, foul-tasting brown sausages fall out of my bottom. Who puts them up there and what are they trying to distract me from? 🤔'

This arthritic pain in the pouring rain

Sunday league's changed since my time > Football coach had €700 of cocaine to share with his friends, court told - SundayWorld.com sundayworld.com/crime/courts/f…

I checked. There are absolutely no cats there at all.

OJ had the vaccine, makes you think

Mate of mine in our WhatsApp group writes: 'I just spent a grand on a hotel room for (Bruce) Springsteen.' I replied 'Surely he can afford his own hotel room?' Not one laugh. Not even an aubergine emoji. Maybe I need new friends.

I'm watching Sex in the City. Was this really a thing?

Love this for two reasons:

1. Liam is actually quite likable and funny. (We were always led to believe he was the dickhead, but it was the other one all along.)

2. Cantona is a touch of class.

It's all going absolutely swimmingly with this moronic brainstrust. A bloke called Big John wants to make Citizen's arrests

I think when the nonsense starts there'll be a pile on

Completely normal party.

Tommy Cawkwell was Reform's candidate in York Central for the General Election and was deselected after missing phone calls and not returning emails.

It transpired that Mr Cawkwell had died back in February.

“Sleep is a scam invented by bed companies to sell more mattresses.”

Perpetual pursuit of sunsets. In stilettos. Also wears a bra, by the look of it.

Why don't Lynx just get over it and call their new fragrance Bodis Odium?

Before going to bed I check social media to see how many footballers my brother has described as 'shite' (3), COVID conspiracy theorists as 'divs' (5) and how many times he's called Donald Trump a 'prick' (4). His Christmas cards are always a good read.