'Réaltín really is the most terrifying person I’ve ever met.' Today's column and audio... irishtimes.com/podcasts/ross-…

Cheltenham. Glastonbury for tossers.

This is an absolute disgrace. From the Laws of Rugby: 'A team must not have fewer than five players in the scrum.'

How did no one think of calling this 'A Brick for The Gick'?

'Honor rubs at the graffiti with a dainty, circular motion, like she’s applying foundation to the face of an elderly loved one.' Today's column and audio... irishtimes.com/podcasts/ross-…

'I don’t need a 26-year-old copy of Cosmopolitan to tell me that I married the wrong man.' Today's column and audio... irishtimes.com/podcasts/ross-…

BIG NEWS! There are still some tickets left for my award-worthy stand-up show in Courtney's in Lucan on Thursday night. Get em here... comedyclub.ie/products/ross-…

‘They don’t really send people from our background to prison, do they?’ Today's column and audio... irishtimes.com/podcasts/ross-…

Happy Dricmas, everyone. Brian O'Driscoll

The Rossmeister General is coming to Lucan. I'll be doing a stand-up show in Courtney's on 15 February at 8pm. Sounds to me like the perfect Valentine's Day surprise for someone. Tickets are limited and moving FAST! So get on it. comedyclub.ie/products/ross-…

‘How could the child of a mother who puts the mental into environmental action grow up with a moral compass?’ Today's column and audio... irishtimes.com/podcasts/ross-…?

Paul who?

'Winterfell’s b*****ds are only in the halfpenny place compared to the ones you meet doing the big shop in Cornelscourt in Christmas week.' Today's column and audio... irishtimes.com/podcasts/ross-…

But does he have a Leinster Schools Senior Cup winners' medal? It doesn't sound like it.

Whoa! Fair focks, Mads.

Sorcha wants to make our own Christmas tree out of books this year. I think she’s been at the eggnog. Today's column and audio... irishtimes.com/podcasts/ross-…?

Discover the biggest #IrishFiction books this #Christmas - a guaranteed delight for everyone on your gift list! All books available in store and online -bit.ly/3Rs6x7O

Penguin Books Ireland Hachette Ireland Gill Hess Ltd Gill Books Sarah Breen Ross O'Carroll-Kelly Claire Keegan

'‘You need to look up the difference between mincemeat and minced meat.' Today's column and audio... irishtimes.com/podcasts/ross-…

I was absolutely convinced that 'Dan' was going to be my old man. x.com/TelegraphRugby…

I've never in my life seen a product cry out for a sponsor quite like this beverage does.
Ross O'Carroll-Kelly, answer the call.