*Whistles the theme to 'Andy Griffith' through a cornfield.*

Be the thing in the woods that terrifies the townspeople.

That I-95 fuel-truck fire was caused by an as*hole cutting off another truck, which set off a chain reaction.

THIS is why people suck.

I've been thinking about taking up violin.

*Picks up a violin.*

Mission accomplished. On to the next goal.

I'm too young for 'What the f*ck hell day is it?'

Day 4,053 of not knowing what the f*ck you people are talking about.

Think I found my next book purchase to make it an even 10.

When the nine new books I ordered arrive, I have a feeling the books I have sitting here waiting to be read are going to create a 'Jerry Springer'-like stage fight with them.

Every time I sit in traffic, I think to myself, 'The movie 'Speed' would be over in 14 minutes because that bus would be at a standstill in my area of the country, instantly.'

The Ken Burns documentary stays on during sex.

I want sushi. I demand sushi.

✨Heaven????✨

Always in the mood for reading📖

I can confirm.

I don't want responsibilities, I just want to read my books in peace

I wish s'mores had s'less calories.

That's right, Soto. That's f*cking right. #RepBX

A game of Twister, only it's me trying to get up off of the floor.

A paper bag applied to a book as a cover is a tree protecting its brethren.

Do we all wish that we had a typewriter or is it just me?