Ok, everybody can relax. I found my phone.

It was in my hand.

Anywaaaay, I could use some coffee.

I am shocked - SHOCKED - I say, to learn Maggie Haberman was practically Trump’s publicist.

I’m sure this is a camera distortion but sure looks like a blue sky rainbow at sunrise this morning.

Mother goose taking the kids through the drive-through at Panera.

She isn’t carrying a purse, so I guess she’ll just put it on her bill.

The problem with social media is that happy people only visit while miserable people never leave.

Friday tradition time: ending the week with some shared joy.

Tell me something good.

What good thing happened in your life this week?

Found a penny or found your calling, either works.

It is important to remember that the reason Kristi Noem keeps saying dumb things is because she is genuinely dumb as shit.

In Philadelphia with @wolfiesmom.

The two of us get on an elevator in the hotel going down. A few floors down, elevator stops and two women get on. Doors close and both turn around to look at us. Well, Valerie, rather.

Woman 1: Has anyone ever told you that you look just like

Carrying your leprechaun buddy obvi.

Damnit.

Had the winner. Missed the trifecta by three inches for second place.

A bit late but weekly tradition time…

Tell me something good.

What good thing happened in your life this week?

Made you smile or made your year, just something good.

I need more social media like I need a hole in the head but since I’m already on Threads and IG, might as well make it a clean sweep with a Facebook page.

If you’re on FB and want to follow there too, cool.

facebook.com/profile.php?id…

Some days seem to last forever. Others seem to go so quick.

So long, SoCal. Under a week was too little. Thanks for the parting sunset. Wish it hadn’t gone so damn fast.

This vacuous shitbird was too fucked in the head to grasp that bragging about shooting your dog makes you Satan incarnate.

She is a vile fucking pox. Dumb as a bag of socks. Vapid as shit. Soulless, brainless, gutless. I’d call her trash but at least that can be recycled.

Friday tradition: finding some rays of sun no matter how hard the rain.

Tell me something good.

What good thing happened in your life this week?

Size doesn’t matter. It’s the act of looking that counts.

No longer primarily a jurist, but a far-right ideologue who is using his positon to help an autocracy come into being. This is how he will be seen later.

Hi, the Supreme Court isn’t an actual court. It’s six paid operatives pretending to consider arguments while overturning laws for money.

Hope that helps clear up what happened today.

It’s true though… and some of them are INVESTED in hating you. It’s wild.

I’m a writer and all but sometimes you just have to let the picture tell the story.

- w/valerie bertinelli

Breaking: The MAGA Supreme Court majority appears ready to rule that the right to 'life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness' doesn't extend to women with pregnancy complications or who otherwise need abortions.

This is horrifying, and it is because of Donald Trump.