Me, pitching Animaniacs: So the main three break down into typical sibling tropes - there's the smart leader older brother, the cute but aggressive younger sister, and then the middle child who-
Exec, cutting me off: Talks like Ringo?
Me: Talks like Ringo, exactly.

My fiancée just realized that she had a Sam Reich tweet saved from long before we ever started watching Dropout.

I said, “Wow, it’s almost like…he’s been here the whole time.”

With the acquisition of this t-shirt, I have reached my most powerful form!

I think people have forgotten just how good Palm Springs is. In an age before too much of everything it would have been considered a classic.

Cat: [lurches while on the carpet]

Me, jumping up from the couch:

Just survived Free Cone Day at Ben & Jerry's 🍦

Rob Gronkowski threw out the first pitch at the Boston Red Sox game today. It went exactly how you expected. 😂

When my cat intently stares out the window, I like to hit him with a good “are you winning son?”

[entering an improv scene after promising my team i’ll make more grounded choices]

hi i’m

Me and who ☺️

If Connections and Sudoku kept streak/best time stats, I’d probably never talk to another human before noon again in my life

pea this single-handedly changed my entire perspective randomly last year

hate it when your butt touches the wall of the shower on your way out and you have to start all over again

PG: Spike Jonze
SG: JJ Abrams
SF: Brad Bird
PF: Tim Burton
C: Lars von Trier

I think the most bro-y thing about me in high school was that my favorite band comprised 3 guys, 2 of which were named 'Brad' and 'Chad'

Not one of my favorite bars meets fire code, i'm sure of it

It’s so over 😔 #wordle