They never left, you fkn posers

Morons that are chronically online really be like “You’re just gonna listen to doctors who studied medicine for 10 years? Wow enjoy being sheep, I’m gonna listen to a stay at home moms Facebook page cause I’m an independent thinker”

Happy summmmmer

I don't want to be 'at the top.' I want a job that gives me health insurance and a livable income, and that doesn't take away my quality of life with hours-long commutes that completely drain me as a chronically ill person.

If over the counter birth control upset me this much I’d probably kill myself

Almost got it all back together in time for AVF

I'll get stoned and talk aggressively about how design has died and they used to design with function and form and now everything is grey and plastic

How did I end up in a casino send help

Its always; I love Nite Owl

she says 'how was i supposed to see that' about an object the size of a child.

Issuing an Amber Alert for my water bottle

*taps sign*

Old Faithful has permanently relocated to 72nd and L Street.
#OmahaScanner

I just had a musubi from Hawaiian Bro’s and it was spiritual

$300k+ *is* the price of a starter home. Hope that helps

Green cars green cars green cars

but im the one who needs to drink out of a soggy paper straw to reduce my carbon footprint

i don’t give one single fuck what is out of style. i will still continue to wear skinny jeans, i will still use boomerang on instagram, and i will still part my hair on the side.

I love this country. The House can't pass universal healthcare, student loan forgiveness, or protect abortion rights, but they can magically get enough votes to police our language around a fucking genocide.

Is the golden job market in the room with us?