*me at a hot dog stand*

menu:
hot dog: 5.00
soda: 3.25

me: i’d like one hot dog and a soda please

the hot dog guy (excited bc i’m his first customer):

hell yeah brother

guy who thinks 'kicking a man when he's down' is synonymous with 'taking candy from a baby' because a guy who is down is the easiest type of guy to kick

Thank fuck for ps5

that's the life

me perms

my poor old man dog is now on 3 different tablets guhhh wuhhhhh

my 6 year old niece when i trick her into grabbing the electric fence

patrick stewart trending but its just some football herbert i thought prof x kicked the bucket ffs

captain bamoo on duty

instead of comparing dick sizes we have now evolved to comparing linkedins !

strings…

hungover listening to this and I can feel my sinuses clearing