the toxin trilogy

13th Century Tiktok Streamer
(Serf of the Year Celebration)

Went to Walmart to buy paper towels. And the teen cashier told me “do you feel like a storm is coming? Like a virus or something? Well I hope you and your family will survive whatever comes next” david lynch ass dialogue lmao

😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

I told bro to quadruple creamfuck my shit

can’t stop laughing at this video

My grandma thinks all scam calls are from the same Indian guy. “He’s been calling me for years,” she says.

Kate Middleton is fine. She's been all up in my DMs. Asked me to buy her some iTunes cards. I was happy to do it.

watching nutty professor 'The Thinking Mans Norbit'

Why do they have spotlights on her like she’s King Kong

This is journalist Priscilla Villarreal. A few years back, police in TX arrested her—because her work is often critical of them.

Last week, a federal court said those cops didn't necessarily violate her rights. Everyone got qualified immunity.

That should concern you. A thread.

therapist: describe this picture

me: that’s my father yelling at me

therapist: and this one

me: you having sex with my wife

therapist: and this one

me: aren’t these normally ink blots

anyway here's wonderworm

Jesus: “Then if you are without sin, throw the first stone at her.”

The prostitute:

cudi just in there wasting bests

wow she was in a lot of fights

me [reading a book]: why are you not impressed this is like magic for you

groknag the caveman: me read in new cave times that it derivative and trite

me: …well you’re just made up for a joke. when someone finishes reading it you’ll cease to exist

groknag: me not want die

this shot is so sickening

Me trying to call off my hounds after mistakenly loosing them on one of my guests