Can’t laugh because I do the stand up comedy version of this tbh

Amazing

I’m back!

(With less of my back)

Manchester Tour show comes into town tomorrow. No babies please. See you there

For context, Zaha made a substantial donation to CPFC Women in 2018 when they were seeking sponsorship to allow them to continue playing in the FA Women’s Championship.

Forever a Palace legend ❤️💙

#CPFC

Link to Tour dates and Edinburgh fringe show in the bio

This is it. The last straw. I now have no other option than to take my own life

I’m going to stop being on that podcast with my dad I just can’t be fucked with some of his overly liberal audience that draw for the nepo baby card when I don’t 100% agree with their liberal world view. I like my audience I’m getting over on Instagram and tik tok. Twitters lame

I am loosing it at this

Met Police doing their best to hand arsenal this trophy with their blatant corruption refusing to arrest Thomas Partey

The worst football fan I know is an arsenal fan. It’s better for the prem if they win the league, they play lovely football and I like the squad. But I cannot bare it if this man I know is happy. Would actually ruin my summer

My favourite footballer to watch

If you’re a a U.K. comedian and get a mullet it’s beef. Especially if you went to private school. Not having it.

Yearn for the 00s when schizophrenics just yelled at lamp posts on the high street instead commanding twitter accounts with 70k followers

Maybe everyone should stop trying to provoke a reaction from the mentally ill women

UK is back baby

There’s every chance Klopp calls a journalist “a fucking pedophile” for asking him where Liverpool went wrong tonight

12th place is back on boys