I’m not worse than this lady. God bless America

If any comedians out there are ever feeling s*icidal out there I just want you all to know that I’m here to tell you there’s teenagers on TikTok with hundreds of thousands of followers for just being hot and writing stolen text on pictures so let’s keep working these jokes out

I don’t even want a bf (I do) I really just want people to not think it’s ok to mention touching my feet randomly after shows

Take that vegans you’re not not hurting things you just don’t think plants have souls better go start eating rock soup (jk the rocks feel pain too) indy100.com/science-tech/p…

They’re saying the Earthquake hit NJ bc of fault lines that are hundreds of millions of years dormant. Feels like time to get back into those old conspiracies about Manhattan potentially getting erased in a tsunami again 🤔

Check the dates in here 👀
home.cern/news/news/acce…

It’s not the magnitude that counts it’s if you started shaking or not

The world just shook from NY to Philly - do anyone wanna be in love before the world splits in half and falls off its fckn axis? 🥺😭

Open relationships are healthy

Bro is arguing the reason why you should go to LIVE shows and not wait for the Youtube or whatever. Fly to Philly on a random Thursday yolo dh 👌🏼

Watching Quiet on Set and I was too old for all these shows so I never watched them much but Ray Romano definitely knew what that pickle joke was about on All That 🥒🕳️👀

69% of you asked for this

Should I?

If the bottle of Tylenol says it expired in 2022 that means just take a triple dose to make it work still, right?

Worst Kind of Thoughtful is out!!

Watch now free on Youtube
youtu.be/99kXH4YZ3ps

Nobody tells you before you get a kidney transplant that it for some reason makes you have F cups - none of my bras or shirts from a year ago fit 😭😭😭😭

I know only some people will get this but that is Faulkner from Bio Dome after he goes rogue 🌎😂

Everyone who did that thing as a kid where you pump your fist at a truck or any driver next to a main road or on the highway in your bus that’s where your control issues started

Imagining this feeling instead of watching p*rn ever again

I slept through the shelter in place in my neighborhood today - nothing better than a sleepy broad we are not posting updates about the active shooter or calling you crying bc we’re scared