I don’t want the gays ruining my family friendly tobacco festival

twitter is now just pride rock after scar let the hyenas go ham.

Before vs. after realizing your writers do all the work

Boston!!!!!! Can’t wait!!!

where are all the good tweets? where’s all the weird goofy shit that made this place fun? all I see is rage bait like we’re on boomer facebook.

I’m running against Boebert for Congress.

Here’s my campaign slogan:

I know it’s fun to make jokes, but Beetlejuice is an objectively horny musical regardless of any fascist sex going on in the mezzanine

What in the grandma porn is this?

Not a coincidence that ppl who post like this are almost always anonymous. Some of the saddest ppl in the world. You see someone you don’t find funny making a living at comedy and you can’t accept that they tried for something in life and you never have.

That ain’t me. The real Marie Connor is 7ft tall. Marie Conor has 5’1 energy.

Tom Brady in a Patriots jersey, all is good in the world again.

Oof, the Patriots

You know the end of times is near when Tucker Carlson has tweeted more about gay sex than I have this year.

Help! I married an extrovert.

Jesus wouldn’t lie about his weight

You’ve never once created anything of value like this person has

Really glad I woke up at 3am only to get irrationally angry at a soccer game. #USWNT

The good thing about Ron DeSantis is that no one will ever form a cult around his personality.

McConnell isn’t having a stroke, he’s getting an urgent call from the alien mothership.

People criticized Sinead O'Connor for insulting the Pope and the Catholic Church, but history vindicated her. In 1478.