I had to update my driver’s license photo at the DMV and I complained that I looked terrible in it and the guy said, “Lady, that’s literally exactly what you look like” and now my day is ruined.

I don’t do drag, I do site specific character work

I get to move back into my condo tomorrow after living in a hotel for two weeks due to fire.
I thought I'd really embrace hotel life, but it's different when you're in your own neighborhood.

Someone should create an event where self-absorbed people wear stupid clothes.

aubrey drake graham and kendrick lamar duckworth sound like two 19th century explorers who both died in a race to the south pole

I do miss getting dressed up fancy with my ex and attending a function and knowing we look like the sh*t.

Warm chocolate chip cookies & cold milk rates pretty fucking high on the self care scale.

never been loved loudly so I’m going to love myself loudly

The good thing about getting utterly broken by life is that you know who you are after because you’ve had to gather the little scraps of you and hot glue your essence back together. You familiarize yourself with every jagged, jigsaw puzzle piece of your soul.

That’s priceless.

It’d be funny if Donald Trump picked himself as his Vice President like how when SNL has the same person host and be the musical guest

why do supermarkets have cheese in so many places, here’s the fancy cheese, here’s the ok cheese, here’s the auxiliary cheese display like please..no more riddles

Nothing feels better than to have a good laugh with someone who cares about you..

Air Supply complaining about being 'all out of love.' Like, bruh, you literally said you could make love out of nothing at all. Stop the fucking whining.