This is the latest incarnation of Compound Media's Bill & JoNo’s Mornin! via @youtube and it's really just a safe space for Joanne Goodhart to be the fully awful, AWFUL person I know she truly is: youtube.com/watch?v=gEl4Xu…

Meh. Sonny usually catches the doggy treat in his mouth. He’s brought me nothing but disappointment this week.

More ass-eating stories because...Joanne Goodhart & I are the 60 Minutes of ass-eating stories. We talk Andrew Schulz 👑HEZI killing it at the Tom Brady roast and Jo's Miss USA PTSD. (Coupled with Jo-bikini-pics she 'accidentally' added.)

Watch and imagine you're also in Palm Springs with Bill Schulz and his elaborate koozies.

youtu.be/gEl4XuW6r-Y

Note to perspective doggysitters: If u don’t know where the tickle/leg jerk area is? Then you really don’t know anything, period.

Full disclosure: Sonny is a whore. He would react the same way to a burglar/rapist breaking into Sivan’s place. Meh. Let the doggy sitting begin.

I think Sonny remembers me, ⁦Lauren Sivan⁩.

'The survey took a look at health care, education, natural environment, economy, crime & fiscal stability. This year's winner: Utah.' (Kinda feel like 'the opposite of soul-crushing boredom' should also be a category.) newser.com/story/350012/t…

After listening to the full episode, you'll realize Marina Franklin is about as much of a 'vegan' as I am a @cubs fan. (Read: Not so much.)

I lived in Boston during the Drew Bledsoe reign of the Patriots. And his compliments re: Andrew Schulz 👑HEZI in this podcast? Warms my heart. Bledsoe was the shit. People forget. (His offensive line at the time? Less so.)

Just started this, but from the get go Edelman and Bledsoe are clearly already a bit lit. So? ALL in... youtube.com/watch?v=-pNsIq…

Still haven't watched the full Tom Brady roast. But did anyone make a hair plug joke? I sadly used to freelance edit at some tabloids & it's a confirmed thing. Also? Zero judgements. Hope to be able to afford them at some point. (My shower drain is FULL of hair.)

I stand by HALF of this, Minnesota Timberwolves-wise. (@okcthunder is for real.)

Aaaand I now extremely regret Googling 'whatever happened to Sloth from 'Goonies'?'... yahoo-movies-uk.tumblr.com/post/124244292…

I will also add that my folks were not psyched about me running after a wild turkey in front of their new neighbors...

Things my parents have, now that they live in New Jersey, that Manhattan doesn’t have: gacked up wild turkeys. They’re all over the Garden State place!

I don't pretend to know anything about the @nhl. But man could they use some more cameras. I'm watching z - Dallas Stars game and it's basically just one lame perspective. Do the @nfl thing with a wire and a cam in the middle of the ice. Cameras on goals! Every corner of the ice!

Oof. Always proofread. ***1919

This is awesome. Said it a million times before: The worst thing my Chicago White Sox ever did (apart from EXISTING during this abortion of a season) was NOT throwing a World Series in 1999, but destroying what would now be a tourist destination back in 1990....

Ever get a spam email from Hatland.com &---for a quick, joyful second---think they might be offering you a job? Uh...ME NEITHER!