Can’t see the light show in Phoenix tonight but Aurora Borealis will be doing her shift at the Hi Liter

Can’t beat hangover brunch at Dick’s Hideaway, which was also your mom’s nickname in college

Come to Eddie’s Tavern in Phoenix’s beautiful San Fernando Valley in the next 29 minutes for a Coors Light and an asswhipping that’ll make you wish you never learned how to read this tweet

Happy Helicopter Day

Unsolicited shout out, it’s the Gypsy’s Roadhouse 10th Anniversary Bash and Customer Appreciation event next Saturday May 18, there’s a raffle and whatnot, you might run into a drunk local Twitter “celebrity” too, lucky you

Social media is a hellscape, and so is Arizona politics. But if you're mired in both, these 10 politics-adjacent accounts -- including Clue Heywood, TheRealThelmaJohnson and The AZ - abc15 - Data Guru -- make things a bit better.

Here's the full list:
phoenixnewtimes.com/news/arizona-p…

Rob Ryan used to leave this on chalkboards when he was the night janitor at McDonalds' Hamburger University

Make me the next Suns head coach. I’ll sign for cheap. Can’t be worse. Y’all hate me already. I’ll wear Hawaiian shirts and order drinks from the courtside servers, because I’m here to party.

I’m once again asking you to vote for me in the 2024 PHOENIX magazine Readers’ Choice poll for “Best Twitter” (which I won in 2022 and 2023). I don’t have much else going for me in this life, help me get the three-peat. Thank you. phoenixmag.com/2024/04/25/bes…

My 'The dead brain worm inside my skull will not affect my ability to be president' T-shirt has people asking a lot of questions already answered by my shirt.

Got a date tonight so

1. Shower and get dressed

2. Have a quick beverage to loosen up after work

3. Place a $50 money line halftime bet on a random Puerto Rican basketball team so if it hits dinner and drinks are more than paid for