When the ball gets kicked over to the Tio’s side of the party.

“At frijoles en la casa!”
- los frijoles

Me running to get my funds out of Wells Fargo knowing damn well I’ve been overdraft for 2 weeks

I finally got around to read The Giving Tree and bruhhh, fucked my shit up. 😭🥺 🌳 🍎 #thegivingtree

Her: don’t be out here entertaining these hoes
Me:

Aye fellas, do me a favor and stop sliding into my gf DMs, theres only so many guys she can turn down, shit is stressful.

If I would’ve hit the mega I woulda sign Juan José Soto Pacheco to a 1 year 100 milly contract and have the best Sunday league team ever!

Catch Jerry Garcia LIVE June 2 at the #breaimprov ! You don’t want to miss it!

🎟 bit.ly/3lNtstt

Tempe, AZ! Just got the call I’m coming Cinco De Mayo!! One Night Only! Tickets available now on my website! Tempe Improv @ Tempe Improv instagram.com/p/CcBsvc8vvZQ/…

This is what 18 blends of filters look like. Thanks @frankielealphotography for the pic I had no idea you were taking 😉 instagram.com/p/Cb-l4lLpiWR/…

Just posted a photo instagram.com/p/Cbfq7Q1pFWC/…

It’s International Women’s Day all you domestic females need to chill.

El Paso is a mood. Always a great time here! 3 more shows this weekend! Get your tickets! Laff2nite.com @elpasocomicstrip @ El Paso Comic Strip instagram.com/p/CauzjkoFfx2/…

Shows, shows, shows! More dates to be announced soon! Tickets available now at comedianjerrygarcia.com #california #newmexico #colorado #comedianjerrygarcia #comedytour instagram.com/p/CaVinUSPaEo/…

I feel like the Mexican Martin Luther King Jr “Tengo Un Sueño” 🥱😴🙃 #MLKDay2022

I’ve got family members who haven’t spoken to each other due to an $8 Loteria pot controversy

San Elizario, TX (El Paso, TX) I’ll be performing @pistolerosdeladobe Friday December 17, 2021! Tickets on sale now at comedianjerrygarcia.com @ Pistoleros del Adobe Cantina & Grill instagram.com/p/CXMhToTBMGZ/…

El Paso, TX! I’m headlining The Comic Strip Sunday September 12! For tickets go to my website link on my bio!! @ El Paso, Texas instagram.com/p/CTqYSkelUZG/…

If I’m hitting your city Tap In! Tickets on sale now comedianjerrygarcia.com link on my bio and story! See you there foo! instagram.com/p/CThtTgtlQpn/…