Here's our 13th most-read piece of the year. #McSweeneysTop20of23
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And you can check out an interview with the author of this piece, Jonathan Zeller, over on our Patreon (unlocked): patreon.com/posts/94569577

Dismiss this absolutely bonkers humor piece by @jonjzeller at your peril. #LettuceEntertainYou
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We're biased, but this is maybe the greatest recap of a fake reality talent show about lettuce ever?

'As America’s Got Lettuce ends its run, it’s time to look back at the contestant performances and judge reactions that made it the world’s top-rated show for thirty-seven consecutive seasons—and reminded us that, through it all, America does got lettuce.'
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Our show tonight (7/23)—with shalewa sharpe, martiñ urbano, 𝘁𝗶𝗺 𝗯𝗮𝗿𝗻𝗲𝘀, Carmen Lagala, Danny Rathbun, Rachel Lenihan, Jonathan Zeller, and dogs—is sold out. See you at 7:30!

'Hacks who think that optimism is somehow 'saccharine' should encounter something even more saccharine—a ten-thousand-gallon drum of the artificial sweetener saccharin, in which they drown for the sin of denouncing the one pure entity in this universe.' mcsweeneys.net/articles/ted-l…

Gambling Problem? Visit Our Casino! weeklyhumorist.com/gambling-probl…

@weeklyhumorist

On Sunday, 7/23, bring your dog to see shalewa sharpe, martiñ urbano, 𝘁𝗶𝗺 𝗯𝗮𝗿𝗻𝗲𝘀, Carmen Lagala, Jonathan Zeller, and more. thegooddogshow2023.eventbrite.com

'These charlatans have said that there’s not enough conflict in the series’ follow-up season. How’s this for conflict? If you don’t like 'Ted Lasso,' you should die and rot for eternity in the sulfur-infused inferno ruled by Satan himself.' mcsweeneys.net/articles/ted-l…

I Want You to Have This Book, Which I’ve Read in the Bathroom

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Weekly Humorist

'This is the most exciting get-rich-quick opportunity since Bitcoin started accepting Bitcoin in transactions for Bitcoin. Without writers, editors, photographers, and photo editors, our company will incur almost no expenses when putting out Total Crap.'
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'You may be skeptical about machine-written work at first, but once you see the software rearranging familiar-seeming paragraphs into different orders, you’ll realize it’s a suitable replacement for your favorite authors, who can now rest and starve.'
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The future of publishing has arrived.

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Timothy McSweeney

From alpacas to Elton John, our writers found plenty of things to joke about this year. See a roundup of the year’s funniest The New Yorker Humor pieces. nyer.cm/XEEzAlx