Ordered a present and am told it will be here tomorrow. Thought I had weeks. Cannot have a present in my apartment, vibrating with secrets! A nightmare which can only end via another nightmare: giving the present too early. Have mental disorder, need gift-giving escrow.

Oh, my heart. Cafe Loup never hit it so hard. ny.eater.com/2024/4/15/2412…

I wish Meghan Daum and I had played the 'when we met' game, though that's probably not as fun for listeners. Gonna go with an Open City party on The Frying Pan? Thank you for the quality chat, friend: podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/gri…

I am, on occasion, reminded of the book I blurbed where I never heard a word back from the author, editor or agent. Just straight to the book jacket, do not pass go. It's so soothing to have a perfect, toy-size target in this otherwise complicated world!

Late-breaking news: we're pleased that Sloane Crosley (Sloane Crosley) will be joining the Lit Fest lineup, teaching a weekend intensive as well as a craft seminar. More details here: lighthousewriters.org/workshop/advan…

Is one of them Gary Shteyngart ?

Called a website 'a feminist-leaning vertical' and gave myself a nice little chuckle. Try it for yourself, it works with anything!

Not even looking to see if I'm the last to say how great this is, I don't want to know: thebaffler.com/odds-and-ends/… The Baffler

Just texted “dia beacon” as “dis bacon.” Better.

New Yorkers who knew the earthquake was an earthquake: congrats on not living in close proximity to constant drilling, construction and brick-resurfacing. Must be nice!

Book of The Day! Read it now before a new day comes and ruins everything. Thanks ⁦NPR⁩ npr.org/2024/04/04/119…

“It’s unfair to put a thinking person on a cruise ship.” This is the piece we’ve all been waiting for. Well, all of us except Gary who had to do it. Delighted to have a cameo at the end! Let this be the final addition to the cruise canon/cannon.

MY CAT IS 21 YEARS OLD TODAY! BOW DOWN AND KISS HER SNOW-CAPPED PAWS, YOU WHISKERLESS SACKS! HAPPY BIRTHDAY, MABEL, MY SILKY LOVE. YOU LAP HOG, YOU PURR PIGEON, YOU BASTARD OUT OF CAROLINA. TONIGHT WE BURY YOUR FAKE ID IN THE LITTER BOX AND GET WINE-DRUNK LIKE EGYPTIAN GODS!!

Congratulations to my not-on-twitter friend, Batsheva, on her *brand new store!* This little questionnaire is how I'm finding out we use the same face wash. And covet the same earring. Honestly, I have no idea what the f we've been talking about ❤️✨: airmail.news/shop/collectio…

you either die a hero or you live long enough to see your childhood become everybody’s mood board

“That thin one in the middle is kind of interesting.” I can’t imagine anything that would please Russell more than being called “thin” on national television. Voting for this is open until Tuesday! #FallonBookClub