A man in his 40s thought I was Gen Z today. I don't care if he didn't understand what age that is. A win is a win.

If you're in NYC + need to laugh more than you have in months, TimeOut says one of the best things you can do is see TINDER LIVE with me + 𝚍𝚘𝚍𝚊𝚒 𝚜𝚝𝚎𝚠𝚊𝚛𝚝 May 16, 8:30pm!!!

We'll swipe through Tinder, YOU choose where the show goes. Don't miss it ok? OK!!🪩 newyorkcomedyclub.com/events/tinder-…

20s: i'm too young to have kids
30s: still too young
40s: still too young
50s: still too young
60s: i can't have kids this worked out well

Friends: where are we at on water filters? Is there any water filter that actually filters out anything? What is real anymore?!?

If you're in NYC on May 16th, I HIGHLY recommend coming to Tinder Live with me + 𝚍𝚘𝚍𝚊𝚒 𝚜𝚝𝚎𝚠𝚊𝚛𝚝! We'll swipe live through my dating app👀 and you choose who we swipe on. It's totally improvised, super funny, and surprisingly kind!!! SEE YOU SOON NY!🌻🍎🙈 newyorkcomedyclub.com/events/tinder-…

Hopkins makes more from U.S. Defense than tuition bit.ly/3QzO2gL

the best part of a new crush is googling them until you hate them

Happy Mother's Day to everyone who raised themselves. I'm so proud of the child you raised and the person you became, in spite of everything. It's nothing short of a miracle to survive that, and if no one has told you that yet, I'm happy to tell you. Because it's true.💜

Well that escalated quickly and then just kept escalating

Stamford CT!🌸I'm so so excited to bring Tinder Live back NEXT WEEK on May 17th at NYCC Stamford!!! Last time I was there I matched with a 'doctor' whose only photo was one arm. I really hope I get to see the other arm next. See you soon!!!🎟️stamford.newyorkcomedyclub.com/events/tinder-…

Happy Mother's Day to people who never had a mom, had an abusive mom, lost their mom, had to cut their mom out of their life, or their mom left. And especially to people who had to be their own mom. The world will forget you exist today but I truly never do.💕

I took Lights for a walk and was checking my phone, I looked up + she'd stopped in front of this sign to stare at me like, 'You did a very good job raising me. I just can't tell you because I am dog, so pls read this pun sign.' So happy Mothers Day to dog moms too she's right.😭

😭😭😭my heart

Since vis-a-vis all of my therapy I’m reparenting my inner-child, that means I get to celebrate Mother’s Day right ? At my favorite Greek diner reading LaneMoore🔮NYC 5/16, CT 5/17 (the chapter on holidays how serendipitous) & they’re playing Whitney & I’m living my best life

🙏💙🙏👊

💌♥️!!!!!!!