Thank you so much 4 watching and sharing my new special, Murder Sheets! Means so much! Watch on YouTube for free and the best way to support is to share with friends! + if interested you can buy the shirt of the album cover here: shop.lizmiele.com (discount code: catbuttz)

Calling everyone about the second earthquake reminded me of 9/11 except the phones worked.

Hey everyone it’s your lucky day! My beautiful & hilarious friend Liz Miele has another special that’s coming out tonight on YouTube. It’s called “Murder Sheets” and it’s her best work. She keeps getting better and better. youtu.be/ftaI0VJCF00?si…

One of my favorite people put out a special. Not only is he hilarious, he's also a good person. I try
to hate him but I can't. Go watch greg stone 🩴 amazing new special. I promised him at least 2 views so guys please
don't let me down. youtu.be/_NhFKH5779c?si…

Every guy on a dating app has his kid full time cause the mom left. So you filled out a dating app instead of filling out a police report? What are we doing here. Let’s find her.

sonia z. Punch Line Philly adrienne iapalucci What a great show!

Hilarious! The adrienne iapalucci episode is one of my favorites even though I’m the target. I read pizza menus in Artie’s voice . Ha

You may have a partner on Valentines Day but I have Xanax. We’re not the same.

My friend texted me that her friend had taken their life and I texted back “oh no” and it just sent a monkey covering its eyes 🙈

I keep dating the wrong guys.

“Hey God, can you send me my serial killer already?”

Everyone kept telling me that Peoria, Illinois was really dangerous. How? There are barley any people there. If I want to get raped I’d have to drive to Chicago.

My Uber this morning was tired and almost drove us into a ditch and I didn’t try to stop it. I said, “I’m actually fine with that happening.”

My ex-boyfriend’s dad died so I texted him my condolences. I said “I heard about the passing of your dad, if you need anything please don’t ask me.

I was in D.C. at a gay bar and across the street there were multiple “Black Trans Lives Matter” signs and I looked at the black gay couple and said “Welcome to All Lives Matter” 😂😂

I went to cvs and got an bunch of travel sized stuff and the cashier asked “are you going on vacation?”

I said, “No, I just have a week to live and I don’t want my family getting anything”

Excited for these shows 1/11-1/14. What’s fun to do in Vancouver when it’s 13 degrees? 😂 Get tickets here: adrienneiapalucci.com

Stop comparing #Jan6 to the Holocaust. It’s very disrespectful to the Germans. They would have actually taken it over.

Tickets for the Allegedly Tour on sale now at adrienneiapalucci.com

More dates TBA

Don’t lie to yourself cause it’s #NYE Next year gonna be just as shitty.

Normalize exit interviews in breakups like there are in jobs.

“Security is here to make sure you don’t break anything on the way out and please honor the no compete Clause for 2 years”