Whoever keeps trying to hack my Twitter… can u stop …

Thinking about when Marnie sang “you can be my white Kate Moss tonight” and laughing

2MORROW 💖 FIRST DAY OF SPRING 🌷 FIRST DAY OF BI PANIC 😋 8pm at Cmon Everybody hosted by me and melody kamali with PNW TOUR 4/4 & 4/7 julia Sureni Weerasekera + Alison Leiby! And maybe even a special guest 🕵🏻

Tickets: bit.ly/3JQCfrg

“Love my lil tribe of freaks 🤪”

- hot, wealthy woman referring to her two kids and venture capitalist husband

I’ve always said this

She absolutely has covid

Know what Jesus and Meghan McCain have in common? They won’t stfu about their dads!!!!

workout teacher after seeing me stop multiple times in a row: “you ok?”

me: “I went to a baguette party last night”

If I don’t have a shamrock shake this weekend I’m gonna jump

I’m literally still tired from my 20s

My annual reminder that sharks get a week

Me after learning I have a hemmy during my pap smear yesterday

Adding everything I want and nothing I can afford to my shopping cart from ssense is such an important part of the writing process

I could be so interesting if I just had a few hundo K